Understanding Neurodiversity-Affirming ADHD Therapy
Embracing Your Unique Mind
Living with ADHD is hard enough, finding the right therapy practice to help you with your adult ADHD shouldn’t be. For far too long, traditional therapy models have focused on helping individuals with ADHD conform to neurotypical standards. But what if therapy didn’t ask you to change who you are? What if, instead, it validated your unique brain and empowered you to thrive on your terms? That’s the foundation of neurodiversity-affirming ADHD therapy; a strengths-based, trauma-informed, compassionate approach that embraces ADHD as a natural variation in human thinking rather than a disorder to be "fixed”. It rejects these unhelpful narratives and instead offers acceptance, validation, and practical tools designed specifically for the ADHD brain. Your therapist should embrace your neurodivergence with respect, understanding, inclusion and collaboration because therapy is designed to help you grow, heal and discover your true authentic self. Our amazing ADHD brains operate in a very different and beautiful way and this is something to be celebrated. So what are some of the things you can look for when you searching for support? I got you. Let’s get into it.
Finding a Neurodiversity-Affirming Therapist
Not all therapists are trained in ADHD, understand the complexities of neurodivergence and it’s co-existing conditions that tag along. So, it’s essential to find an ADHD specialist; someone who has experience with ADHD and has a neurodiversity-affirming lens. I know it’s hard to find that unicorn therapist, but a specialist can offer customized strategies that work with your unique ADHD brain and not against it. You have already gone SO long in life feeling like you were born on another planet, therapy shouldn’t be one more place you feel misunderstood. Your ADHD therapist will help you navigate those feelings, normalize your experience and remind you that ADHD is a real neurodevelopment condition, and not a personal failing. You will know you’re in the right place if you feel supported, understood and validated.
Accommodating ADHD, Not Masking It
An ADHD specialist will design therapy to fit your unique way of thinking, rather than trying to make you fit into neurotypical structures. ADHD therapy can offer strategies that feel flexible and enhance motivation in way that feels more natural. You can also ask about accommodations, or adjustments that remove barriers to therapy and ensure you have equal access and opportunity in the therapy room. Some examples of neurodiversity accommodations might include: breaks, sensory adjustments, flexible interaction options, ability to go off camera during virtual sessions, reducing pressure to maintain eye contact, appointment reminders (lots of them), and any other supports you can can think of that with help you feel successful. A really good time to ask about all of this stuff (specialties, neurodiversity-affirming practices, accommodations etc) is in the initial consultation or even in your first visit.
Cultivating A Sensory Friendly Space
A sensory-friendly therapy space will minimize distractions and reduce sensory overload during your therapy sessions, allowing you to focus on your therapy. Let’s be real, most therapist office spaces are designed to be calming but here’s a few pro tips to consider even if you are doing therapy virtually from the comfort of your own home. Strategies for improving your sensory regulation experience during therapy might include: opting for adjustable and/or natural lighting, minimizing background noise, exploring the rainbow of sound, using noise cancelling headphones, accommodations around strong or irritating scents, having fidget toys handy and choosing seating that is neurodivergent friendly. I like to give clients “permission” to stand up, move around, wiggle, pace or do whatever feels right during our visits.
Celebrating Your Strengths
While it’s true that most people don’t come into therapy when everything is good, it doesn’t mean that the focus of therapy has to be on what’s difficult. Therapy can help you build on your natural talents, enhance your personal growth, leverage your creativity for problem-solving, harness your hyperfocus, improve your communication, develop new thinking patterns and funnel your energy towards your goals. By focusing on what you can do and what makes you unique, you can thrive with ADHD rather than struggle against it.
Feeling Comfortable Enough to Unmask
Masking is social strategy or coping skill that allows you to hide your ADHD symptoms in efforts to “blend in” and conform to neurotypical standards; all in attempts to “fly below the radar”, avoid stigma and social consequences associated with being neurodivergent. Masking might look like…maintaining eye contact in conversations (when you don’t want to), giving verbal or non-verbal cues you’re listening (when you’re not), suppressing your urge to fidget or bottling up your emotions so you’re not unfairly labeled as “to much” or “to sensitive”. Gross, I strongly dislike those terms. Masking is exhausting, isolating and harmful; we know that masking can lead to depression, anxiety and other mental health issues. Unmasking is the process of gradually revealing and accepting your ADHD symptoms instead of hiding them. Scary, I know. Maybe you have been masking for so long that you don’t even know what it feels like to unmask and live more authentically. Neurodiverersity-Affirming ADHD therapy offers a safe-space to explore yourself, understand your unique needs and genuinely be yourself. This is really powerful and liberating stuff.
Thriving, Not Just Surviving, with ADHD
Neurodiversity-Affirming ADHD therapy isn’t about "fixing" you—it’s about equipping you with the tools, mindset, and self-acceptance to thrive. By embracing your neurodivergence and working with a therapist who understands and affirms your ADHD experience, you can build a life that honors your unique strengths and needs.
